Monday, May 21, 2018

Just Jump

May. A month that always arrives out of nowhere, and vanishes far too quickly. Clearly! I began writing this post at the top of the month and now here we are in the final week. The month of May brings a lot of powerful and freeing feelings year after year. Spring transitions nearly seamlessly into summer. Schools all around close their doors for a three month hiatus. The month of May tends to bring a grand sigh of relief paired perfectly with excitement for the unknown adventures awaiting in the warm, nearing future.

This particular May, I am still feeling all of those things, just with a slight twist. Just over a week ago, I completed my final academic school year. For the first time in my life I am out of the chains binding me to the academic calendar and all of the day to day life that comes with that. I managed to feel nearly every emotion imaginable during the weeks leading up to the big graduation day.

I finally landed on a sturdy emotional ground. Through all of the "lasts" I chose to emote a grateful and positive aura. The four year college experience was a vivid and memorable road trip of ups and downs. I had my absolute highs and I encountered my absolute lows. Every day managed to bring discovery, triumph, failure, and laughter of various depths.

As I sit to reflect, I cannot help but be in awe of the infinite blessings that were packed so snug into these past four years. There are people that have entered my life and changed my life. I have experienced moments and dreams that I have never thought were possible. I have been so humbled time and time again. There was a lot of growing that happened these past four years. Just like the house plants I treasure, I had my good days and I had my bad days. I evolved and changed constantly. And, though I never liked to accept it, I needed help along the way. Like a plant, I had to have help from others in order to reach my greatest potential.

And so, here I am, a college graduate. The college years, that were nothing like I had pictured, are now wrapped and sealed with a precious bow called a diploma. The world is now completely mine, and in all honesty, I have never felt as lost as I am right now. I have always been a girl who loves to follow directions, and for the first time in my life, there are no directions included. I feel as though I was backing out of my educational career waving, smiling, and basking in the sweet final moments. I then turned around to a giant chasm between the rock I have been on for seventeen years and the surface that the rest of my life starts on. I must get across the chasm, and rather than building a time sucking, soul crushing bridge by myself, I just need to jump.

I do not know what the future holds for me. Tomorrow, a year, or ten years from now. I am finally beginning to breathe into that excitement of the unknown. My passions and my creative fuel reincarnate and awaken me each day. This has led to some frustrating moments for a girl that enjoys having a plan. I am now choosing to embrace the fear and the wild power that this brings. Although it is scary, the beauty is that I have endless options, I just need to decide where to begin. An entire world of endless opportunities is out there waiting for me, and now is my chance to just do it. Time slips by too briskly to not turn these day dreams into reality.

My deepest admiration, love, and support goes out to all of my fellow graduates and dreamers of all capacities. I am rooting for us all. I am jumping across the chasm and I am sending my best wishes as you do the same.

1 comment: